Solstice, you were hard to bear
No end to rain, nor cloud, nor chill
No respite from aching heart
Another half year passed
Without lover's touch
No closure to this shapeless grief
A blur of getting by
Being brave and resourceful
Digging for worth, for dignity
With demons always waiting
just around the corner
Hissing old recriminations
I missed the land; my animal self
felt tamed and lost and lonely
Like a dog locked in a car
Longed to return to that solstice night
sleepless, delirious, perfect
when I birthed a midsummer child
And being alive was an explosion
of possibilities, growth, wonder
and contented love
Solstice, I wanted to witness you
To praise the tipping year
wide-eyed and summer-hearted
But my bruised heart and failing mouth
held no song of gratitude this time
No sense to make
I went to bed as early as I could
Lay still, noticed swifts calling
And surrendered again
